I want him so bad

I have strong feelings for my friend. He knows this. I started having feelings for him the first time I layed eyes on him. (Nov '07)

He is not a jerk. He is kind and gentle.

He is an Aquarius, like myself. He has Aquarius in Venus, like myself. His mars is in cancer and mine is in scorpio (cancer + scorpio = conjunction). As well as a lot of Sagittarius in our charts.

He actually has two or three planets in alignment with Aquarius, I have four.

He is 31. I am 23. He may think i am too young, but i am not.. We both have hazel eyes. We both even stand the same! We both want to have fun and be single. (However, if he asked me out, i'd jump at the chance.)

I have backed off on getting my hopes set high....but I secretly have hope...Hah.

I don't need to be his or in a relationship with him...(but I do believe in dreams coming true). He means so much to me on a different level than a "crush". He has taught me much in life without realizing it and has def helped me not be so neive. 
I look up to him. He is perfect in my eyes.

He will always hold a place in my heart.

The sad news is...my company is moving location in August. He works in the same building as me (diff company) which is great because we get to see each other daily and have smoke breaks. When we move, i'll only see him when he wants to see me. :(

Happy

Sometimes things don't necessarily turn out how you expect or wanted things to turn out. Sometimes what you want is not what you need and what you need is not what you want. I think I have begun to understand this a little more clearly.

The past 2 1/2 years have been nice. The prior year 1/2 before was a horrible time in my life. Never date an alcoholic musician trust fund kid from the San Fernando Valley. It won't end up like you think.

I'm really happy right now. I'm so happy with how much I've grown in the past 2 years. I used to be so naive when it came to men, but now I feel like I have a better understanding of what I want from a man. I think it took much heart break to end up here but I am glad I experienced it when I did, rather then later in life. Not to say I WONT experience another a**hole but at least I am more aware. :)

Which brings me to the topic of dating...

How do you not lead someone on? I seem to do this quite a bit, I beleive. I'm not sure if it's because I'm friendly and guys take that as I'm hitting on them when in reality i'm just being myself! I'm very picky, so i'm not interested in every guy I see. It takes a lot for me to fall for a man. The only problem is...I always seem to fall for the unavailable types. Whether it be my friend in Wales (distance) or my friend here (...who i like more and more everyday...) but then I meet this cute auditor who was auditing at my work for two weeks, so I gave him my number. He called. He lives in Redondo Beach and I live in Ventura County so the distance is about an hour+ away from each other, which makes getting together difficult! Not to mention the fact he works 6 days a week! Don't think I'm looking for anything serious. He did text me last night, asking if he could call me today. He probably wants to go out this weekend...hmmm....