Monday, December 27, 2010


My photoshoot last Thursday with Diana was so much fun!
We didn't get as many good ones as we hoped,
but it is my fault.
I invited my lover to it 
(i should be his best friend forever after this but sadly i never will be)
and I kept talking to him about politics while posing.
Fortunately, we communicate really well when together
but unfortunately, he sucks at it when we are apart.
When I say together, I don't mean as a couple.
That will never happen.
I have cried so many tears for this guy for over three years now
that my eyes are like a desert. 
I keep telling myself I need to let go
but now I know for a fact that I 
to let go. 
It's not a question of if I want to,
it's just something I have to do. 
I do love him though.
I don't love how he has treated me lately
but I knew this would happen,
Out Of Sight 
Out Of Mind

But damn! Is he missin' out!!!


what's wrong with them?

my new favorite gum

my cuties

this should not be a limited edition b/c it smells amazing

my daily beauty products

lunch + left overs for dinner

"i see beauty in everything"

always sitting indian style


a lot lately. 
I can't find ANY,
not one,
class I need 
for next semester.
I am so annoyed.
I can't imagine working
this SHIT job any longer.
I just want to get the hell out of this place!
Not even ONE english or math class
I really didn't think everything would be closed
I want to cry.
To top it off,
I keep applying for jobs and I get
call back.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Sunday walking day

Is so in love with my new dress!! It's see through, so I have to wear it with skinny jeans and a cute lil top underneath but I love love love it! Thanks MOM! Glad she got me the purple. I LOVE purple and do not have a lot of purple clothing.
I have not wanted to do anything yesterday or today. I have no desire to even go to the mall. I am trying to save my money for a new couch, so I am trying not to buy any clothing. I REALLY DO NOT NEED ANY! But what I need to do is go through my closet and get rid of all the junk that I really do not need. Rather than buy 5 things at Forever 21, I am trying to buy one nice thing at say Anthropologie or Club Monocco. I guess Club Monocco is going out of buisness in Thousand Oaks. They had/are having a huge sale and my mom got me two really beautiful cardigans for a huge discount! It's def worth buying nicer things, especially now that I am going to be 25 in a month, I need to get over my Forever 21 phase.

Anyway, I went for a walk with my doggies this afternoon and then walked to Target. I got blue Christmas lights for only like $2.50! I got two of them to put up in my room. Blue is my favorite color :) I got Superbad for $4.50 for my brother's b-day next weekend and Season 5 of  It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia for only $9.99! He will love both of em! I also go Cinnamon Bun fabreeze spray to tease myself and make myself hungry. =)
After my walk, I got some Subway. I am addicted to Diet Coke, Veggie Delites and Salt & Vinegar chips! Nom!


I am so happy! Thanks to Katie, I got George Barris's new book titled Marilyn. At least I think it is new. I have never seen it. He did a photoshoot with Marilyn just two months before her death and these shots have always been my favorite Marilyn photos. One, she looks amazing, two, she looks natural and like herself. Three, some of them are taken at the beach right infront of the Peter Lawford house in Santa Monica. Katie and I went to this spot last year and took photos here. I would love to recreate a Marilyn photoshoot. I have a sweater similar to the one she wore on the beach in this shoot (see below). I need a cute 50-60s bathing suit too.

So, I am almost done reading the book. It's mostly photos and his interviews with her. She talks about her life, in her own words. It's nice to read but really sad in parts. She was at her happiest right before her death and that he will never believe that she killed herself. He believes she was murdered. She was about to play her favorite actress (Jean Harlow) in a movie, why would she end her life? She was quoted saying she is just getting started. I know it had to do with the CIA and or JFK. She got involved with the wrong people and knew too much. Her red diary has NEVER been found and she only had a little tiny bit of pills in her system. It was so small, it was in no way enough to kill her. The autopsy they gave her was rushed and not thorough enough. Maybe someone paid off the coroner's office...who knows...who knows what happens when you get involved with the president. She dies, then JFK dies, then RFK....weird.
RFK actually had dinner with Sharon and Roman the day before he was murdered. The next year, Sharon was.

The 1960's was such a crazy decade. I was just having a convo at my work about the 60's with John, the mail delivery guy. He is such a nice guy. Anyway, he told me as crazy as the 60's were, it was amazing and that there will never be a time like it again. I wish I could time travel back and just observe it. Be invisible and just observe it as if I were watching a movie.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas

Target has some pretty cute lights for only about three dollars. I got the pink, but they don't work, bought purple which is cute and then got red,white,and green ones which work nice too. Bought them for a photoshoot I did with Diana on Thursday. I totally invited my lover over to watch. Ugh, I love him. I tried my best not to show him that I love him but it's pretty obvious. My eyes can't lie. Neither can his. There is something there between us, but it may never go anywhere. 
Just gotta keep on movin' along. If it's meant to be, he will come find me.

I have had a great weekend.
I got a NEW TV!!!!
No more box tv (my first TV ever) no more dvd and vhs built into my tv hhaha. 
Now I have a blue ray player!!!!!!

Hell freaking yes!!! 
So I had all my friends over to hang out with my cousins who I got no photos of! wtf!
Anyway, I had no idea that all my friends were men lol
This is Greg. He bought me the most amazing gift!!!!
YES!! This will annoy all my Sarah Palin hating friends, which is like any person I know that is below the age of 29..besides Greg and Jeremy.
Greg also gifted me with these nice glasses...

I love them!!!! <3
Left: Brett, who I have known since I was 3 months old. Right: Jeff who has been my friend since I was 16. We were bf and gf for a year when I was 17.
Below: My cousins adorable daughter, Riley and my baby Kona in her doggy purse. :)
My shoes that desperately need to be fixed! The metal is poking out of the heel. God forbid I step on anyones feet! :-X
Jeremy, Angie and me! Angie got out of the house and my motherly instincts immediately kicked in. I put down my drink, ran across the street, where I threw my jacket off and ran down the street in my heels, and Jeremy did the same, minus the heels lol. He got in front of Angus and I got in back of him and he stopped running and let me pick him up. I have such a fear of my dogs getting out. 
Below, is my drunken brother lol.
Brett's mom Chris, who is a second mom to me. Riley and Kona <3 and myself =)
Myself and my baby on Christmas morning! <3

Sunday, December 19, 2010

White Trash Xmas

Friday was an interesting day. I went home for lunch to hang out with my lil baby, Kona. This is where she was when I came home, so I tucked her into her blankey and surrounded her with all her friends.
I drove back to work, stopping at Subway to grab a Diet Coke. Ran into my lover who was in line and had him buy me a diet coke. He's so hot and I just want him so damn bad, but I can't. He likes someone else, but he doesn't admit to it. Actions speak louder than words though. :(

So I got back to work, which was lame. Left work at 5 (which was heaven) and drove up the street to add a little more black to the underneath of my hair.
Then I rushed home, then to Target and bought Xmas candies and green stockings. I changed into my red velvet $12.50 Forever 21 dress, my green tights, red lips, my Santa hat and a grean coat and finished in time for Shawn to pick me up to attend Jeremy's White Trash XMAS/Birthday party, which was in the perfect location of white trashy Filmore. hahaa. His parents live in a really cute house in Filmore and it was actually a lot of fun! There was this HOT guy there and I was so excited, but before I started flirting with him, I asked Jeremy if he was single, and of course, knowning my shitty luck with guys, he was married. :(
Oh well, I played beer pong and sucked ass this week. I guess I need to be already wasted to play. I drank white wine all night and munched on yummies. We sang Happy Birthday to Jeremy who was dressed like Santa.
How cute. Made a new female friend, which is always bad ass because girl friends are hard to find. Took a pic with Santa...
And laughed my a*s off at this...

Time Warner Cable X-Mas Party

Once again, I got to party it up at my favorite president's library, thanks to good friends. This weekend it was Time Warner Cable's X-Mas party that I attended with my friend Jeremy. We got to see the Oval Office!!!
It was so
They are
doing a lot
of updating
to the library so,
we just got to see the
Oval Office
which is
bad ass
because I don't think it was open for last weeks XMAS party. We only got 1 drink ticket, unlike the open bar at last weeks, but it was still an awesome time. We got drinks at the Ronald Reagan Lounge which included pictures of him drinking on the walls. :)

We toured Air Force one which was beyond cool! They had electric type writers back in the day, and even cordless phones! There were jars of jelly bellies in each section of the plane since they were Ronald's favorite candy. Looking inside the plane, it all seems very modest compared to what people government officals and celebrities fly in these days. How a lot can change in 30-40 years.

We played some Black Jack, cashed our chips in for raffle tickets, which we didn't win. Oh well! It was still good times. We got a photo of us waving as we got onto Air Force One and a video of Jeremy's belligerent drunk co-worker.  Oh, and a photo of me shooting a commie. damn commies!

We left @ 12. I got home around 12:30. Slept until 1PM haha.